Hole in the Wall

For anyone who hasn't seen the BBC's epoch making light entertainment orgasmathon, 'Hole in the Wall', the basic premise is that celebrities have to contort their pampered limbs into certain shapes to comply with a polystyrene wall that slowly moves towards them. Should their bodies not be in the right shape, they are unceremoniously dumped (dumped!!!) into a small pool of water, while the audience laugh like lobotomised hyenas and Strictly Come Dancing's Anton du Beke demonstrates as much charisma as a water butt.

I was watching this, and while an irreparable hole in my soul quietly formed, I was thinking of ideas to make it a genuinely watchable experience, and not a 30 minute period of existential angst. I suppose I could have got off my fat arse, reached for the remote and turned over, but I'd just had a large meal and couldn't move.

Anyway, here are the ideas I came up with to increase the level of viewing pleasure associated with Hole in the Wall:

1. Swap the polystyrene for a reinforced concrete wall.
2. Fill the pool with concentrated hydrofluoric acid.
3. Increase the speed of the moving wall from roughly 4mph (walking pace) to 140mph.
4. The shapes that the celebrity must form to remain intact can only be performed by an eighteen-limbed silicon based life form with fourteen penises.
5. Replace Anton du Beke with the 45-year old corpse of Buster Keaton.

All other suggestions welcome.